Imbolc

It was the damn dog that did it. The poor innocent victim.

Running out into the ocean to save the boy,

Both washed away.

 

He didn’t understand hiding.

He didn’t understand causality.

 

I read a book the other day that proposed a theory of causality based on being a good person. It said if you are a really good person, everything else will take care of itself.

 

I read another book that proposed that causality isn’t real. That, to get to the heart of the matter, sometimes you just have to find a dry well and sit in pitch blackness deep in the earth. For a year, however long it takes to get to the heart of things.

 

We live in an irrational universe, like the monkeys in the famous and oft quoted in business—we live according to the rules handed to us by our forefathers and we don’t understand why. In the experiment, monkeys were zapped when they climbed the trees for the bananas. 2 generations later, nobody was climbing trees.

But the institutions we’ve been handed are big. Too big to fail. Just ask any black person about that.

 

I was thinking the other day abou t how war and love are so similar. Both are irrational power struggles to get your needs met that sweep through lives with a swath of destruction.

Did the dog love the boy, or was it instinct? Do the monkeys not climb the trees out of respect for generational wisdom, or instinct?

 

Because we have thoughts, we think we don’t act instinctively.

Or maybe it is the combination of thought and feeling that makes things so tricky.

 

Most of the opinions I have heard and read about sex fall into two camps. The cynicism of biological imperative, and the idealism of love. I have seen good arguments on both sides, as well as in other camps, regarding the nature of the sex/love/beauty.

 

To be honest, in my experience, men have multiple story-lines going on what it means to be in love. Which means most of them profess multiple different perspectives on the nature of love, depending on the context (i.e., mood, life changes, what posture they need to stance based on who is in the room).

The cynics profess that love is not real. Love is a myth we believe that has evolved over time as part of culture, but really it is just monkey genes wanting to make more of *their* kind of monkey genes, and a really elaborate bird dance otherwise.

[male jumping spiders portray [ ] that would make []] proud. ]

The idealists are middle class white people, and maybe working class, upper middle class, and upper upper middle class.

 

They don’t really offer much intellectual feel0sophy, but their behavior says a lot.

Each class has its own definition of love.

The universals are

--‘I have a soul mate.’

[and even if you say you don’t believe you have a soul mate, doesn’t some part of you believe it? Deep inside? You don’t have to be honest with me about it, honey, I don’t care what ya say, just, be honest with yourself.

 

            Some of the by-products of this belief include:

                        -Staying in abusive relationships

                        - inability to make a relationship work long-term

 -inability to see people as they truly are

-inability to cope with imperfection

I’ve read enough books on the topic. It is entirely reasonable and feasible to exist in a culture where people are content in their romantic couplings.

Why don’t we live in that world? Curious to hear your answers.

 

The thing about love stories that people don’t want to grapples with [hence, rom-coms—what happened to them grappling with sophisticated topics? Love Actually was trying to take risks, you can’t take risks on Hollywood see Superhero Movies, they were just boring risks],

The thing about love stories that people don’t want to grapple with is

            That they take work.

            I saw my parents 10 years ago. I see them today. They were able to heal their relationship from a pretty deep and severe rift. I didn’t say they understand each other. Lord knows they understand each other too well. Except when it comes to jokes.

            The little bird laughed at Simba. No wait, Simba thought he knew better than Zazu. Zazu wasn’t totally right in all regards, but he had a wisdom Simba sheer ignored.

Not that it would have mattered, his dad was fated.

I guess this way, Simba was able to find the companions he needed in Timon & Pumba. Maybe if he wasn’t totally alienated he wouldn’t have got to the right place.

Him and Nala had an agreement, you see. It happened offscreen.

Oh, you didn’t know that the true agreement happens offscreen except in Jane Austen novels? That’s right buddy, read Austen to pick up women. Intelligent women are into intelligent men. Most men are not really emotionally intelligent until their 50s. Some don’t get as broken & so can get through the rough bits and find a way to make it fun together.

 

Where was I? I believe it was,  

 

Desire and dream are different creatures.

But we so easily have thoughts that We believe otherwise.

And then actions happen,

And the voiceless female refuses, to

 

Delerium speaks the truth.

We speak delierum when

We

We we

We we we

We. Us.

Ussssssss.

Us. We We

 

 

Being able to

Call someone out

 

Is the most precious

Gift of my life.

 

The number of people i

Cannot call out

Are legion.

 

I’m pretty unstable.

Unstable means a lot of things.

It means polar ice.

 

I’m cheering for Earth.